I started typing up one of those This year, I am thankful for… lists.
I didn’t get very far.
I didn’t get very far because, truth be told, I was not feeling terribly thankful the days leading up to turkey day. I was sick. Laryngitis. Sore throat, cough, cold, fever. And I was pissed about it because 2009 was supposed to be my year of being well. God damn it, 2009, what did I do?
Then Thanksgiving arrived.
And it was the best Thanksgiving I have ever had.
I had an obligatory family meal. But it didn’t feel obligatory. My OCD mom easily tolerated the mutt (an actual mutt I am dogsitting, not a guy) I brought with me even though her tail is at a lethal height for tchotchkes and is not permitted by her owner to have people food. The “orphan” from church who joined us was a dog person with a hearty appetite and an admirable sense of how much she should talk in social situations. Trust me, the last trait has been lacking severely in several of my mother’s most recent guests.
Traffic on 95 wasn’t so bad as I headed home to drop the mutt off. Traffic on 66 was non-existent as I headed into Georgetown for Thanksgiving dinner.
I’m not sure the exact moment I realized I was having the best Thanksgiving I have ever had.
The realization was mixed within the company of 3 charming, intelligent, attractive men who kept me on my toes with conversation and endured my voice that sometimes rivaled that of a phone sex operator’s and sometimes disappeared into a whisper. It became clear that the only thing better than the good wine would be the good food, and the only thing better than the amazing food would be the wonderful company.
I warn friends approaching or going through or coming out of divorce that the holidays are hard. Especially the first one, and then the second one too. You miss what you used to have, what you are supposed to have. You are lost in attempts to reclaim memories. You are lost in what was lost.
This year, for me, I had my best Thanksgiving ever.
This year, I had exactly the Thanksgiving I would have planned if I had ever known such a Thanksgiving could exist. Surrounded by the family I was born into and the family I chose. Sharing laughter with friends who have known me my whole life and love me faults and all as well as with friends who have only known me as a born again single and love me faults and all.
I didn’t merely feel thankful. I felt joyful. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world.
I put these thanks in writing on Wednesday night. I didn’t pen them for a blog entry. I penned them for a friend who is going through a bad divorce. I penned them for me. And, in the end, if you take a tiny ounce of hope away from this, I penned them for you.
Things to be thankful for…
The sucky, crappy, shitty feeling doesn’t last.
The friends who make it through this with you will make it through everything with you.
Only one family to worry about on the holidays. (For the time being at least.)
All those sappy movies and songs? They will mean more to you now.
You will find unexpected people and unexpected pleasures in your next chapter.
The deepest passion in your heart- whether music or dance or baseball- it gets a second chance to take over.
It will all be okay. I promise. It will all be okay.